I was talking to a colleague. I told her I know God wants me to share our story in my blog but I don't know just how to start. She suggested starting with a Blessing.
Blessings are God's favor and protection. I have for many years ended my emails with the phrases, Blessings, Blessings on you and Have a Blessed Day. Today I would like to ask God to pour his Blessings on birth moms that have made the hard and loving choice to put their baby up for adoption. For young birth moms that have decided to put their own lives (dreams) on hold or to change their dreams to keep their babies. For people that have made the choice to adopt a baby or child that isn't their own flesh and blood. For family members that choose to support the choices made by the birth parents and adopted parents. I pray that God will give His favor, love, strength and protection to us all.
Arielle and Jaron had a young mother choose their book. We were all so excited! Kev and I went with Arielle and Jaron to go pick up our new Grandbaby. We stayed at a friend’s house that was only about an hour away from the hospital. They were told to go on Friday and wait for a call from the Social Worker. We went to the town closer to the hospital. Wait, wait and wait some more. A❤️J were told Friday afternoon to come back Saturday. Saturday we waited some more, Kev had to go home because it was Saturday and Sunday was coming. And not thinking it could take several days he hadn’t made plans for someone to take his place at church. We thought maybe we can just sneak in and see the baby through the glass in the hospital nursery. We found out that this hospital like many others don’t have a central nursery anymore. All babies stay in the room with the birth moms. Arielle and Jaron went to the hospital Saturday afternoon.They saw the birth mom and her parent again and got to hold the precious baby boy.
Sunday they were able to bring him home. Monday they took him to the pediatrician. A little jaundice but perfect as we knew he would be.
They were also told the 10 day waiting period started at birth so he was already two days into the ten day grace period. Tuesday when Arielle got up with him, “ told her, "Go back to bed. I’ve got this.” We were leaving for home that afternoon so I wanted some time with him before we had to leave. I was on the couch holding the little guy with Kev beside me when Arielle came in talking on the phone. As the baby heard her voice he looked up and to me, the new grandmother that I was, it looked as though he grinned. I said “Do you hear your mama’s voice.” I was looking at the baby and didn’t see Arielle’s reaction. Kev said “Somethings wrong” I said, “I'm sure it’s one of her youth not our baby.”
When they came back in and told us, we all cried together. A❤️J sat on the couch. It was as though someone had sucked the life out of both of them. I walked the baby around a little. After a little while I asked, "When do you have to take him back." Arielle looked at me and for what seemed like a lifetime she finally was able to say - today. She looked like it took every ounce she had left in her to get out that one little word. I guess because the biological mama never wavered during the process the Social worker felt it was okay to send the baby home with A❤️J instead of getting a foster family to keep him for the ten days.
As Arielle and Jaron were getting ready to take the baby back. I handed Arielle the blanket I had over his little legs. She said, "No mom. Not that blanket, this blanket." It was a blanket she told me a lady in her church had made him and she knew every stitch was prayed over with love. It was made especially for him and she wanted him to have it. After Arielle and Jaron left to take the him back, I started picking up their house. For a couple that didn’t put together the nursery until their book had actually been chosen the house had baby stuff everywhere. I put the glass baby bottles back in the closet. I washed and put away the baby clothes. I hid the little Daddy’s first Fathers’ Day onesie Kev and I had bought Jaron. The baby blankets, baby seat, pacifiers, and the bassinet were put in the nursery and the door closed.
Kev helped me get the bassinet moved and he took the trash out.Her daddy answered calls, texts and FaceBook posts from family, church family and friends while I was doing “my Martha thing” as Kev said.
God doesn’t promise us smooth sailing, if he did people would accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior just to have an easy Life.
As hard as it was to see my “little girl”and her husband go thru this after years of researching, interviewing, choosing an adoption agency and then a year or more of waiting for their book to be chosen by the person God had for them, I think about the other grandmother. She will possibly have moments of grieving the loss of her “little girl” now a mother. The loss of seeing her daughter go through school, cut up and laugh with friends her own age, taking her to ball games, dances and prom as it would have been without a baby. but if you had met and held the baby you would know he is worth the changes in their lives. And that grandmother I'm sure loves their new little grandson. I know this because Arielle and Jaron met the grandparents. And they believe he is loved.
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In our time of grief, Jaron mentioned that we needed to get away. We were blessed with texts from two of my sisters and a cousin. God is good! He had all this happen the week they were at the beach.
While sitting on the beach watching the waves we started talking to a young father sitting next to us. He had heard us talking about maybe one day being able to retire to the beach. And that young father talked about the changes in his life. He had four children. The oldest I think was about thirteen and the youngest one was about three or four. He called the two youngest Irish twins because they were less than a year apart. He said birth control failed them. And now his early retirement plans were gone. You could tell he loved his kids but his life changed with the new babies. I would like to say, the way he played with, talked to and interacted with his kids, it was obvious he was at peace with having to change his retirement plans.
I remember Kev asking me at eight months of our pregnancy, "Are we doing the right thing?" I looked down at my tummy and said, "It's a little late to be asking that, don't you think?" We laughed out loud! He had all of a sudden gone from over the moon happy to a moment of being scared. (News Flash - Parenting can be scary.) A baby changes everything. After just a month or so of having Arielle we couldn't remember what life was like without her, and didn't care. God is Good!
After the tears, Arielle said, "Mom we have always wanted to adopt to help a child that needs love. This baby is loved. He has gone back to his mama and grandparents that love him very much."
And that's why new moms, parents get a ten day grace period, to make sure it's what they believe is best for their baby. Even with our grief, I can't let myself imagine how a family would feel realizing after the baby was born that they want to keep the baby, their baby, and be not be able to change their mind. To not have that grace period.
There's no reason to hold on to the hurt. God has a baby for Arielle, Jaron, family and friends and we need to trust God for He is faithful.
As we are once again in the waiting stage, My prayer for a healthy, happy beautiful baby is renewed. Family and friends have comforted us with love and scripture to hold on to. And it is time to continue our prayers and trust in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
Blessings on you,
Mama D
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