ADOPTION

This is a very long post on our family's story of adoption, but I don't know how to tell this story without well telling the whole story. I hope you will take the time to read it.

Adoption wasn't something I knew much about growing up. I seem to remember a child in our church being told at I think, thirteen years old that he was adopted and he ran away. I wondered then why would you wait until he was thirteen to tell him.

This past year I watched a movie named HER STOLEN PAST. It was written by Lynette Eason. In the movie one of the characters asked, Why did my parents not tell me, I was adopted? She was told they waited for the right time and then realized at some point that the right time had passed. So it took me all those years to hear an answer that made sense. Now that's all I'm going to tell you about the movie but if you like mysteries you should buy the book or figure out how to get a copy of the movie. I recorded the movie when it was shown on TV. I've actually watched it several times when my 800 or so channels had nothing on that interested me. The book is a Harlequin novel.  The movie is a Lifetime movie and Harlequin Original Movie.

Kevin under the Christmas Tree

Kev was adopted. He was born on October 21st and put under the family Christmas tree on December 13th, Kev's mom said he was the only thing under the tree because they spent everything they had for adoption fees.

Kevin Moen 1957

When Kev and I lived in California we drove past an old building. Kev told me every time he and his family passed that building he and his sister were told, "There's were we picked you up." So Kev has known all his life that he was adopted. Kev loved his parents. It wasn't until we were thinking of having a baby of our own did he start really talking about looking for his birth parents for possible health information. You know when you go to the doctors they ask you for family history. It upset Kev's mom so we decided not to look. His mom told me when she and I were alone that her biggest fear when the kids were growing up was that the birth parents would come and take them back.

You know Satan knows our weaknesses and he will use that as a foot in the door of our minds. (My idea.) For me, growing up it was getting lost in the hall at school and not be able to find my locker. Then after Arielle was born, I would have dreams that a police officer would come to the door and tell me Kev had been in an accident.

Kev and I were told when we were in our twenties that we had 25% chance or less of having a baby. The Lord said "watch this" and we had Arielle.

Arielle in the outfit Kev wore
home from the Adoption Agency 

Our dog Naomi and Arielle 

We tried to have another child. People kept asking Arielle when are you going to have a sister or brother. After she went with me to get an over the counter pregnancy test at a store outside of town. We lived in a small community and I didn't want everyone to jump to any conclusions and call Kev before I even got home. I told Arielle to not get her hopes up because I had taken these before just to get a NO. But she got excited anyway. When the test came back negative she was so heartbroken that she never asked about having a brother or sister again.

Kev and I started looking into adopting. We bought Arielle a little book about an adopted child to help her understand what we were talking about. And her dad told her his story of being adopted as a baby. She was six, I think. The news had snippets with children to be adopted several times a week. But we were told over and over because we had a child it would be four to six years before we could get a child. I even told one lady we don't necessarily need a baby just one younger than our daughter and that we could possibly be interested in siblings. At which time I was told, What part of four to six years, do you not understand?

Now our daughter has been told she can't have a baby. She has PCOS and the chances aren't even as good as we had been told. Do we believe God can give them a baby, YES! He is God and He can do anything He wants. Arielle has always liked the idea of adopting, "It's a family thing." So it wasn't as devastating to her to hear that she couldn't have a child.

Arielle told Jaron before they ever dated that he would have to decide if he was good with adopting before she would go out with him. He prayed about it and decided that would be good with him.

Arielle and Jaron have been married four and half years at this time. They have been in the adoption process for over a year. The agency that Arielle and Jaron are using gives the biological mom several books that have been created by the prospective parents. It's a great idea. The birth mom gets to chose the family their baby goes to.

One of the hard parts is being told when your book is going to be shown. Praying for the mom and baby, getting our hopes up and being able to see in our minds and hearts that baby being a part of our family. Then being told that the mother picked someone else's book. On the other hand if you chose not to be told when your book is shown it seems like the agency isn't doing anything.

Waiting is hard. But knowing that we are waiting on the baby God has for our family does help. Especially after the initial burst of sadness has passed. Arielle and Jaron did stop telling people including us when their book was being shown. Arielle told me, "Mom we love knowing everyone is praying but it's so hard to go back and tell everyone it was no again." I told her, "You don't have to tell anyone. I can assure you that your daddy and I are praying everyday whether there is a specific baby or not. We are praying for a healthy baby that God has for y'all. And I'm sure everyone else is also."

Arielle and Jaron's "Paper Pregnancy"

A mother has chosen their book. We are so excited. After several what we felt were like miscarriages. If you've had a miscarriage you may be saying we have no clue. We know the physical part is different and we are not making light of that. But believing you are going to have a baby and then after a week or so of praying and hoping you find out there's no baby, a miscarriage is all we know to call the extreme sadness.

Now they have a mother that has chosen their book. We have a due date and we've been invited to go to the hospital. Arielle and Jaron have been told she would like them to take the baby home. The mother is young and believes putting her baby up for adoption is the best thing she can do for him. I know this was not an easy decision for her and we are praying for her.

Arielle and Jaron have a gofundme page to raise the $10,000.00 for the adoption fees. They have plans to get a loan for the remainder of the costs when it comes due. It seems crazy to me that adoption fees are so high and theirs is actually on the low end of how much it can cost to adopt. But it is reality.

Our last hurdle is that the birth mother and the father have ten days after the baby is born to change their minds. I believe that is going to be the longest and hardest days of our lives. I think it is good that they get a period of time to change their minds. It's a baby's life, their baby's life. If I was on the other side I would want that grace period.

I'm Arielle's mama! And I know the hurt she and Jaron will go through if the mother changes her mind. I also know the GREAT JOY they will have when they are given that beautiful baby! Her dad and I had that JOY the day we were handed her, and Kev's parents had that JOY when they picked Kev up from the adoption agency in California.

Have a Blessed Day,
Mama D

Matthew 1:18 - 20 (NIV)
"This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother-Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit."

If you would like to help Arielle and Jaron raise the adoption fees you can go to gofundme.com or you can go to my website danettemoen.com for a link that takes you straight to their page.