TRADITIONS 2: Ideas to help you get started

This is TRADITIONS part TWO: In case you didn't see part one I will repeat the beginning.

If you are working on starting some new traditions, let me tell you traditions don't have to cost a fortune. They are memory makers. I would suggest you not start a new tradition that is going to be so complicated and stressful. You may be excited this year but think about how much work it is taking and can you keep this up as your children get older. I'd also suggest new traditions that involve the whole family. If you are going to start having family come over for a dinner or party let everyone bring something. You have fun decorating and making your one or two favorite foods. And let others bring their favorites.

TRADITIONS 1 blog had a few ideas: New Year's, Valentines' Day and Easter. 

PICNICS: When was the last time you went on a picnic? When I was growing up my parents would take us on picnics. I can remember my daddy saying, "Nellie is dinner travelable." That was usually on a Sunday. Dinner was in the middle of the day. I grew up with breakfast, dinner and supper. Mom would pack the pots with potatoes, beans and meat in boxes, and plates and silverware in the trunk of the car and we would go to a park. Sometimes we would pick my grandma up about 5:00 in the morning if it was a Saturday. We would be asleep in the back seat. Grandma would bring country ham biscuits and mama had fried chicken for dinner. We could smell the biscuits and chicken all the way to the mountains. We loved going on Skyline drive in the mountains. We would eat, talk, and stop at the overlooks. Good memories. (Cost of gas and food. But we would have a blast!)

When Arielle was three to six years old we lived in Onancock, VA. I couldn't find a job so while being a stay at home mom I decided to make some good memories. Arielle, our dog, Naomi and I walked around the block most everyday. Now we lived on an incredible block. We would walk out the door and go to the left to the intersection, down the block to the bakery. We couldn't afford to buy something everyday but we still went by to say Hi! to the bakery ladies and to the men who were usually there getting breakfast. Then we would go to church to see her daddy for a few minutes. We left him and walked thru town to the wharf. Once at the wharf, we would see who could find the first crab. I would sometimes make us a sandwich and pack something to drink and we would have a picnic before heading home. All we needed was a couple of sandwiches, napkins, a drink and a piece of grass.


HALLOWEEN: When Arielle was growing up the churches we were apart of would sometimes have "Halloween Happenings" Everyone but children dressed liked hobos. Some years Kev, Arielle and I dressed like clowns. Our church now does Trunk or Treat to give families a safe place to take their children.  A couple of years ago Rev Kev, our dog Sandy and I dressed like the Stick Family. (Black sweat suits with white duck tape. After Halloween we took off the tape and wore the sweats. The faces are white foam core boards cut into circles with a black mesh type fabric taped on the back. We could see through it but at night others couldn't see us.)

The Stick Family (Like on the back window of car)

THANKSGIVING: Parades! Family time! Hunters! Football! We like to start the day with the Macy's Day parade. We still do. Now we text or call when something we think was amazing happens, or of course the cheerleaders are about to come on. Our family and Kev's sister's family took turns hosting the Thanksgiving dinner when the kids were growing up. Now that our daughter has gotten married and we have a grandchild we are in the redesign phase.

CHRISTMAS: First and foremost _ JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON! That should be taught at all times. Jesus is real and is a part of our lives everyday and in everyway!


Christmas is one of my most favorite times of the year. Probably because it is a time that my family has always gotten together. I have several previous blogs on Christmas so I won't reinvent that wheel. If you would like to read my Christmas blogs you can follow these links.
www.danettemoen.blogspot.com/Our New CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS
www.danettemoen.blogspot.com/Mama D's Childhood CHRISTMAS
www.danettemoen.blogspot.com/Rev Kev's Childhood CHRISTMAS

People remember moments in time, so make your traditions moments that will be happy memories.

Have a Blessed Day,
Mama D

Joel 1:3 NIV
Tell it to your children, and let your children tell to their children, and their children to the next generation.

A WALK ON THE BEACH

A WALK ON THE BEACH

 Kev and I love to get up and go walk on the beach. He loves to go real early and get pictures of the sunrise. Since the salt air isn't really good for electronics, he will come back and get me and leave the camera in the room. We still take our cell phones to capture pictures during the day. One morning we got up early and went to the beach. It was overcast but the ocean is always beautiful. We started looking for Sharks' teeth and shells. Immediately,  I found a shark's tooth and then a second. We had never seen it when the shore had so many of them.

Kev asked me, "Did this really start by you sitting on the beach as a child." I told him,"Yes it did." My mom and dad love the beach. We would drive from Hamlet to Myrtle Beach stay a little while and then go home. With five kids we weren't allowed to go too far. Mom would pick out a building in each direction as our boundaries.

Large area of shells

I've never liked to just sit or lay in the sun, so mom would say "See if y'all can find any shark's teeth or pretty shells." We would sit in one of those large areas of shells and the search was on. I've always had a nack for finding shark's teeth but shells are also awesome. We don't just pick up perfect shells. The shell doesn't have to be in "perfect" condition to be beautiful to us. We pick up broken ones, pieces of shells, whatever catches our eye. We even have one we call "the bottle cap shell". I tell the kids that visit, "It has to be a shell. We found it on the beach and since you're not supposed to throw trash on the beach, it has to be a shell, right?" Needless to say I get some strange looks from them.

Shark's teeth

The love of looking for shark's teeth and shells has never stopped. A few years ago, we hit the jackpot! We found about 60 shark's teeth. We taught several kids along the beach to find them. As we walked a little way from one of the families, we heard, "Mom, I found one." I believe a new tradition was born in that family.


Leave your electronics in the room and explore the shore!

I put our shells in baskets, bowls, jars, shadow boxes, etc. We have them sitting around the house. The name of the beach is displayed on one of those name tag holders (made for a table) shaped like shells. This reminds us during the year of when we were there and the fun we had.

If your kids want a souvenir but you don't have alot of extra cash after paying for a trip to the beach, collect shells and make a memory. You don't have to dust memories.

I was told once from a family that also loves shells that they have a large clear container at their home. Each time they come home from the beach they put their new shells in the container. I like that idea. I think I would put a label either inside the cylinder or on a label on the outside, with the Beach's name and the date of the trip. And I think the child(ren)'s favorite shells should be next to the side so they can see them. That way when someone comes over or just at random times they can say, "That's the shell I found".

Memories are just moments in time. We don't remember whole days or weeks. We remember moments.

Have A Blessed Day!
Mama D

Psalm 97:1
The LORD reigns, let the earth be glad; let the distant shores rejoice.

VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL

I LOVE Vacation Bible School (VBS)! Always have and I pray I always will! Kev calls it my soapbox.
I remember as a child going to the one at our church and my parent's home church. I remember, the pledges, singing Fairest Lord Jesus, VBS cookies (you may know what I mean. The little shortbread cookies with the hole. We put them on our fingers.), and crafts, (One in particular was plates, cups etc made into a candle holder glued and painted a solid color. My first DIY project).

I'm sure VBS is one of the many places where my knowledge of the Bible grew. Being from the country, VBS was one of the highlights of the summer. I want children today to enjoy their time learning about Jesus and His wonderful love for them as I did as a child. I want VBS to be one of their highlights too.

Our lives are so busy. I'm sure my parents' lives seemed busy too with 5 children. But today just seems so different. We weren't part of Little League, Boy or Girl Scouts, a community pool, etc. We stayed at home for the most part. We had a park across the street. Mom and dad would let us go for an hour or two but we didn't spend all day. We truly looked forward to VBS. We went to a small country church. One of my favorite memories was the year that anyone present at VBS every night got to go to Hardees in a white jeep painted with red pocka dots. Number one, we very rarely went out to eat. Number two, there were no seat belt laws and I can't remember how many kids rode in the jeep but I'm sure it wouldn't happen today.

I heard many years ago that, "Parents use VBS as a baby sitting service. They just drop their kids off and leave."and "All the churches in this area should do VBS the same week. That way we just get our kids."

My response is, "YES, use us as a baby sitting service! Let the children have two or three hours a night for a week learning about Jesus, playing with others, singing new songs with motions, and being creative doing crafts." Instead of sitting in front of a TV, video game or even using a cell phone.

VBS crafts

VBS Song

And as far as all churches doing VBS on the same week. Oh NO! Think about this. If all churches did VBS the same week, the area children would have one week of fun with friends. And would hear the word of God for 4 or 5 days, according to how long the program lasts. Now let's look at if several churches were to do their program on different weeks. The children could have several opportunities to learn songs, motions and Bible stories. By the end of the summer they will have a better chance of having lasting memories and maybe just maybe understand the love of Jesus more than they did at the beginning of the summer. And if the churches did the same program, the children would have different teachers teaching the same lessons and songs. Children and adults learn from repetition.

For example, one year a neighboring church was doing the same program as our church. After their week was up they gave us some of their decorations. We heard of two other churches doing the program. One was doing it the week after us but their first day was our last day so there wasn't time to share decorations with them but the second church was several weeks later so we were able to share with them. We were very appreciative of the decorations and so was the other church. And I believe the people that made the decorations were so happy other children were going to be able to enjoy them.

Vacation Bible School to me is a mission field. I believe God lets us be missionaries right in our own backyard. We don't have to go to a foreign land. God brings the children to us.

Blessings on you,
Mama D

Matthew 19:14 NIV
Jesus said," Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

ADOPTION THREE

Father’s Day 2018, Kev and I were still at the beach with one of my sisters and parents. Kev and I were planning to start heading home. We would have normally gone home on Saturday night in time to be at church on Sunday. This Sunday was different. It was Father’s Day. The Father’s Day following having to take our first grandbaby back to the birth mom. After a few days with my family we were feeling refreshed but not really refreshed enough for Father’s Day and not wanting to have church family focus on our grief and not their fathers and families.

As we planned to leave the beach, we texted the kids to see if they wanted to meet for dinner. Arielle had said something about that a day or two earlier. At the time of the text, Arielle and Jaron had already started for home. We decided to meet in Emporia for dinner at Applebees.

Arielle and Jaron told us at dinner that they had decided to go ahead and put their names back into the list of prospective parents at Commonwealth Catholic Charities. We have been told of families that this same thing has happened to and it had taken another eight months to a year for their book to be chosen again.

Monday morning back to work. I seemed to have been stronger at the beach with my family than I was at work. I had to tell people that asked, “So how’s the new grandma” what had happened. Luckily I was so busy trying to catch up from a week away that as long as no one came by the office I could focus on my work. 

The next week was our scheduled vacation. Arielle’s Grandma Ann and Uncle Jack (Great Uncle) were coming for a visit from Washington State. We had rented a lake house near Arielle and Jaron so we could all four visit without them having to stay with us a couple of days and Arielle and Jaron for a couple of days.

Thursday, June 21, 2018 we got an emoji text from Jaron. It was a roller coaster. And then we got a text from Arielle that had a mother, father and little girl. Kev had sent a text with Uphill or downhill? He had started typing it before Arielle sent her picture but if you text you know how they can sometimes cross in the sending, the same thing with my Is it a girl? and Jaron's heart.

It was a girl! Arielle and Jaron said they don’t want to tell anyone. They weren’t even going to tell us at first. But because they thought they would be on the phone with their social worker during our week of vacation (Arielle and Jaron were not on vacation) they decided to tell us. She said they just couldn’t put family and friends through that again. As soon as they knew for sure the little girl was theirs they would tell everyone.

When was the baby born? FATHER’S DAY, the day they had told us they had decided to get back out there.  Can I just say, GOD IS GOOD!!!

We didn’t know how good until a little later. The mom had her and left the hospital just a few hours later. That’s called a stork drop. The next day, the birth mom came back and told a nurse she wanted her baby adopted and not put into foster care. The nurse must have given her CCC’s information.

My thinking was that at some point in the 24 hours after the baby was born someone had mentioned to the birth mom that her baby would probably be put into foster care. And that’s why she came back. (Remember this is all my thinking.) It’s a special kind of love that a mother has that allows her to put her baby up for adoption. This mother knew in her circumstances (not going to share her personal circumstances, they're not mine to share) her baby would have a much better chance at life with a new family.

Now for the rest of our miracle, after the mom met with the social worker she told her she wanted them to choose the parents. Now the policy is to start with the families that have been waiting the longest. There were two families that had been waiting for a mother to pick them ahead of Arielle and Jaron. The first family was out of the country on vacation, the second one said they just didn’t feel like this girl was the one for them. Next was Arielle and Jaron – YES please!!!

They were anticipating getting to go pick the baby up on Friday of our vacation. They were so excited that Grandma Ann and Uncle Jack were going to get to meet their baby. Wednesday they got a call from the social worker, “Would you like to come get your baby tomorrow.?” Oh yes!

Arielle had a chiropractor’s appointment in the morning. Jaron had a doctor’s appointment at 2:00pm. I’m sure your first thought is change them. Well, they thought about that but Jaron had already rescheduled his appointment once. This appointment was to update his CDL license. It had a deadline on when this could be completed.

Okay, so they made the appointment to pick her up.  Before the foster parents got there, the social worker gave them several papers to sign. She said it’s easier to stay focused on the paperwork if their new baby isn’t in the room. I’m sure she was right. 

 

The moment they (we) had been waiting for – THEIR NEW BABY and our new GRANDBABY!!!!

She was (is) beautiful. One of her arms was taped downed. Her clavicle was broken during childbirth. Of course that didn’t change the fact that she was beautiful!

Kev and I were there taking pictures. Arielle holding her, Jaron holding her, Kev and then me holding her. There were pictures of them with the foster parents, Arielle changing her, etc, etc.

We have a new beautiful baby girl. We couldn’t be happier. Arielle and Jaron wanted a baby that needed someone to love. And God gave them “Josie”. And loved she will be there's no question about that!!!

We would like to THANK EVERYONE FOR YOUR PRAYERS!!!

Blessings on you,

Mama D

1 Samuel 1:27 (NIRV)

“For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him.”

           

Josie loves to praise the Lord even when she sleeps!

Adoption: Two

I had decided to wait to blog on Arielle and Jaron's adoption story and then a funny thing happened. I couldn't sleep. My head was filled with thoughts and memories of what happened. Of how Kev and I felt and how Arielle and Jaron  looked. I kept closing my eyes, opening my eyes back up, typing into the Notes on my phone, closing my eyes then starting it all over again. I think it was after midnight before I could actually get some sleep.

I was talking to a colleague. I told her I know God wants me to share our story in my blog but I don't know just how to start. She suggested starting with a Blessing.

Blessings are God's favor and protection. I have for many years ended my emails with the phrases, Blessings, Blessings on you and Have a Blessed Day. Today I would like to ask God to pour his Blessings on birth moms that have made the hard and loving choice to put their baby up for adoption. For young birth moms that have decided to put their own lives (dreams) on hold or to change their dreams to keep their babies. For people that have made the choice to adopt a baby or child that isn't their own flesh and blood. For family members that choose to support the choices made by the birth parents and adopted parents. I pray that God will give His favor, love, strength and protection to us all. 

Arielle and Jaron had a young mother choose their book. We were all so excited! Kev and I went with Arielle and Jaron to go pick up our new Grandbaby. We stayed at a friend’s house that was only about an hour away from the hospital. They were told to go on Friday and wait for a call from the Social Worker. We went to the town closer to the hospital. Wait, wait and wait some more. A❤️J were told Friday afternoon to come back Saturday.  Saturday we waited some more, Kev had to go home because it was Saturday and Sunday was coming. And not thinking it could take several days he hadn’t made plans for someone to take his place at church. We thought maybe we can just sneak in and see the baby through the glass in the hospital nursery. We found out that this hospital like many others don’t have a central nursery anymore. All babies stay in the room with the birth moms. Arielle and Jaron went to the hospital Saturday afternoon.They saw the birth mom and her parent again and got to hold the precious baby boy.

Sunday they were able to bring him home. Monday they took him to the pediatrician. A little jaundice but perfect as we knew he would be.

They were also told the 10 day waiting period started at birth so he was already two days into the ten day grace period. Tuesday when Arielle got up with him, “ told her, "Go back to bed. I’ve got this.” We were leaving for home that afternoon so I wanted some time with him before we had to leave. I was on the couch holding the little guy with Kev beside me when Arielle came in talking on the phone. As the baby heard her voice he looked up and to me, the new grandmother that I was, it looked as though he grinned. I said “Do you hear your mama’s voice.”  I was looking at the baby and didn’t see Arielle’s reaction. Kev said “Somethings wrong” I said, “I'm sure it’s one of her youth not our baby.” 
  

When they came back in and told us, we all cried together. A❤️J sat on the couch. It was as though someone had sucked the life out of both of them. I walked the baby around a little. After a little while I asked, "When do you have to take him back." Arielle looked at me and for what seemed like a lifetime she finally was able to say - today. She looked like it took every ounce she had left in her to get out that one little word. I guess because the biological mama never wavered during the process the Social worker felt it was okay to send the baby home with A❤️J instead of getting a foster family to keep him for the ten days. 

As Arielle and Jaron were getting ready to take the baby back. I handed Arielle the blanket I had over his little legs. She said, "No mom. Not that blanket, this blanket." It was a blanket she told me a lady in her church had made him and she knew every stitch was prayed over with love. It was made especially for him and she wanted him to have it. After Arielle and Jaron left to take the him back, I started picking up their house. For a couple that didn’t put together the nursery until their book had actually been chosen the house had baby stuff everywhere. I put the glass baby bottles back in the closet.  I washed and put away the baby clothes. I hid the little Daddy’s first Fathers’ Day onesie Kev and I had bought Jaron. The baby blankets, baby seat, pacifiers, and the bassinet were put in the nursery and the door closed.

 Kev helped me get the bassinet moved and he took the trash out.Her daddy answered calls, texts and FaceBook posts from family, church family and friends while I was doing “my Martha thing” as Kev said.

God doesn’t promise  us smooth sailing, if he did people would accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior just to have an easy Life.

As hard as it was to see my “little girl”and her husband go thru this after years of researching, interviewing, choosing an adoption agency and then a year or more of waiting for their book to be chosen by the person God had for them, I think about the other grandmother. She will possibly have moments of grieving the loss of her “little girl”  now a mother. The loss of seeing her daughter go through school, cut up and laugh with friends her own age, taking her to ball games, dances and prom as it would have been without a baby. but if you had met and held the baby you would know he is worth the changes in their lives. And that grandmother I'm sure loves their new little grandson. I know this because Arielle and Jaron met the grandparents. And they believe he is loved.

Family

Everyone that has a baby/ child has changes in their lives. And what I've told teens that have or were becoming parents and others, "You may have decided what you did was a mistake, but that doesn't change the fact that ALL babies are gifts from God." 

In our time of grief, Jaron mentioned that we needed to get away. We were blessed with texts from two of my sisters and a cousin.  God is good! He had all this happen the week they were at the beach. 


While sitting on the beach watching the waves we started talking to a young father sitting next to us. He had heard us talking about maybe one day being able to retire to the beach. And that young father talked about the changes in his life. He had four children. The oldest I think was about thirteen and the youngest one was about three or four. He called the two youngest Irish twins because they were less than a year apart. He said birth control failed them. And now his early retirement plans were gone. You could tell he loved his kids but his life changed with the new babies. I would like to say, the way he played with, talked to and interacted with his kids, it was obvious he was at peace with having to change his retirement plans. 

I remember Kev asking me at eight months of our pregnancy, "Are we doing the right thing?" I looked down at my tummy and said, "It's a little late to be asking that, don't you think?" We laughed out loud! He had all of a sudden gone from over the moon happy to a moment of being scared. (News Flash - Parenting can be scary.) A baby changes everything. After just a month or so of having Arielle we couldn't remember what life was like without her, and didn't care. God is Good!

After the tears, Arielle said, "Mom we have always wanted to adopt to help a child that needs love. This baby is loved. He has gone back to his mama and grandparents that love him very much." 

And that's why new moms, parents get a ten day grace period, to make sure it's what they believe is best for their baby. Even with our grief, I can't let myself imagine how a family would feel realizing after the baby was born that they want to keep the baby, their baby, and be not be able to change their mind. To not have that grace period.  

There's no reason to hold on to the hurt. God has a baby for Arielle, Jaron, family and friends and we need to trust God for He is faithful.

As we are once again in the waiting stage, My prayer for a healthy, happy beautiful baby is renewed. Family and friends have comforted us with love and scripture to hold on to. And it is time to continue our prayers and trust in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. 

Blessings on you,

Mama D

Isaiah 41:10
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Update: Arielle told us on Father’s Day that they had decided to put their name back out there. And as we were grieving at the beach a baby was being born. (And the story continues.)

ADOPTION

This is a very long post on our family's story of adoption, but I don't know how to tell this story without well telling the whole story. I hope you will take the time to read it.

Adoption wasn't something I knew much about growing up. I seem to remember a child in our church being told at I think, thirteen years old that he was adopted and he ran away. I wondered then why would you wait until he was thirteen to tell him.

This past year I watched a movie named HER STOLEN PAST. It was written by Lynette Eason. In the movie one of the characters asked, Why did my parents not tell me, I was adopted? She was told they waited for the right time and then realized at some point that the right time had passed. So it took me all those years to hear an answer that made sense. Now that's all I'm going to tell you about the movie but if you like mysteries you should buy the book or figure out how to get a copy of the movie. I recorded the movie when it was shown on TV. I've actually watched it several times when my 800 or so channels had nothing on that interested me. The book is a Harlequin novel.  The movie is a Lifetime movie and Harlequin Original Movie.

Kevin under the Christmas Tree

Kev was adopted. He was born on October 21st and put under the family Christmas tree on December 13th, Kev's mom said he was the only thing under the tree because they spent everything they had for adoption fees.

Kevin Moen 1957

When Kev and I lived in California we drove past an old building. Kev told me every time he and his family passed that building he and his sister were told, "There's were we picked you up." So Kev has known all his life that he was adopted. Kev loved his parents. It wasn't until we were thinking of having a baby of our own did he start really talking about looking for his birth parents for possible health information. You know when you go to the doctors they ask you for family history. It upset Kev's mom so we decided not to look. His mom told me when she and I were alone that her biggest fear when the kids were growing up was that the birth parents would come and take them back.

You know Satan knows our weaknesses and he will use that as a foot in the door of our minds. (My idea.) For me, growing up it was getting lost in the hall at school and not be able to find my locker. Then after Arielle was born, I would have dreams that a police officer would come to the door and tell me Kev had been in an accident.

Kev and I were told when we were in our twenties that we had 25% chance or less of having a baby. The Lord said "watch this" and we had Arielle.

Arielle in the outfit Kev wore
home from the Adoption Agency 

Our dog Naomi and Arielle 

We tried to have another child. People kept asking Arielle when are you going to have a sister or brother. After she went with me to get an over the counter pregnancy test at a store outside of town. We lived in a small community and I didn't want everyone to jump to any conclusions and call Kev before I even got home. I told Arielle to not get her hopes up because I had taken these before just to get a NO. But she got excited anyway. When the test came back negative she was so heartbroken that she never asked about having a brother or sister again.

Kev and I started looking into adopting. We bought Arielle a little book about an adopted child to help her understand what we were talking about. And her dad told her his story of being adopted as a baby. She was six, I think. The news had snippets with children to be adopted several times a week. But we were told over and over because we had a child it would be four to six years before we could get a child. I even told one lady we don't necessarily need a baby just one younger than our daughter and that we could possibly be interested in siblings. At which time I was told, What part of four to six years, do you not understand?

Now our daughter has been told she can't have a baby. She has PCOS and the chances aren't even as good as we had been told. Do we believe God can give them a baby, YES! He is God and He can do anything He wants. Arielle has always liked the idea of adopting, "It's a family thing." So it wasn't as devastating to her to hear that she couldn't have a child.

Arielle told Jaron before they ever dated that he would have to decide if he was good with adopting before she would go out with him. He prayed about it and decided that would be good with him.

Arielle and Jaron have been married four and half years at this time. They have been in the adoption process for over a year. The agency that Arielle and Jaron are using gives the biological mom several books that have been created by the prospective parents. It's a great idea. The birth mom gets to chose the family their baby goes to.

One of the hard parts is being told when your book is going to be shown. Praying for the mom and baby, getting our hopes up and being able to see in our minds and hearts that baby being a part of our family. Then being told that the mother picked someone else's book. On the other hand if you chose not to be told when your book is shown it seems like the agency isn't doing anything.

Waiting is hard. But knowing that we are waiting on the baby God has for our family does help. Especially after the initial burst of sadness has passed. Arielle and Jaron did stop telling people including us when their book was being shown. Arielle told me, "Mom we love knowing everyone is praying but it's so hard to go back and tell everyone it was no again." I told her, "You don't have to tell anyone. I can assure you that your daddy and I are praying everyday whether there is a specific baby or not. We are praying for a healthy baby that God has for y'all. And I'm sure everyone else is also."

Arielle and Jaron's "Paper Pregnancy"

A mother has chosen their book. We are so excited. After several what we felt were like miscarriages. If you've had a miscarriage you may be saying we have no clue. We know the physical part is different and we are not making light of that. But believing you are going to have a baby and then after a week or so of praying and hoping you find out there's no baby, a miscarriage is all we know to call the extreme sadness.

Now they have a mother that has chosen their book. We have a due date and we've been invited to go to the hospital. Arielle and Jaron have been told she would like them to take the baby home. The mother is young and believes putting her baby up for adoption is the best thing she can do for him. I know this was not an easy decision for her and we are praying for her.

Arielle and Jaron have a gofundme page to raise the $10,000.00 for the adoption fees. They have plans to get a loan for the remainder of the costs when it comes due. It seems crazy to me that adoption fees are so high and theirs is actually on the low end of how much it can cost to adopt. But it is reality.

Our last hurdle is that the birth mother and the father have ten days after the baby is born to change their minds. I believe that is going to be the longest and hardest days of our lives. I think it is good that they get a period of time to change their minds. It's a baby's life, their baby's life. If I was on the other side I would want that grace period.

I'm Arielle's mama! And I know the hurt she and Jaron will go through if the mother changes her mind. I also know the GREAT JOY they will have when they are given that beautiful baby! Her dad and I had that JOY the day we were handed her, and Kev's parents had that JOY when they picked Kev up from the adoption agency in California.

Have a Blessed Day,
Mama D

Matthew 1:18 - 20 (NIV)
"This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother-Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit."

If you would like to help Arielle and Jaron raise the adoption fees you can go to gofundme.com or you can go to my website danettemoen.com for a link that takes you straight to their page.

From BRAT TO BOSS_2

I'm so excited to announce:

From Brat to Boss is done!!!!! YAY!!!!

Danette H. Moen
with From Brat to Boss

        I went to Arielle and Jaron's to help get my future grandchild's nursery ready for the baby. (That's another blog.) When I got home from that trip Kevin met me at the back door with two small boxes. I noticed that both boxes were from my publisher. I hurriedly opened them. It was a feeling like Christmas when I was a child.
       I opened a hardback and a paperback. I had seen the pictures of the book while I was going through the approval stage of publishing.  I guess, I had thought it would be like opening any package of items or books that we have ordered in the past. I mean, I've been working with the publisher for months on the book and I've seen the pictures of the cover. But something about holding a several year dream in my hands was more exciting than I had thought it would be. WOW!

      Now I'm in the next stage, marketing. Ahhh, yet another learning curve. July 8 - 11, 2018 my book will be displayed with a huge variety of items for retail bookstores in Nashville, TN at the 2018 International Convention for Christian retail. It is called Unite 2018. How do I get people I don't know to find and buy my book? I mean really, I'm a regular person not a movie star, a famous entertainer, or TV star . I'm the pastors wife of a loving, friendly church but not a mega church.

     So I'd like to ask you to join me in prayer. That's the only way I know to start anything. Yes, this book has been prayed over many times while writing it, as well as during the publishing phase. So it is only right that this step should be prayed over. I learned as a small child to pray about everything. Then as I grew up and started reading the Bible myself I found out that wasn't just something my parents believed and taught us. It's in the Bible! Philippians 4:6 (NIV) says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present you requests to God."

I would like for you to pray with me that the right people will see my book. And that God's will for it will be done. Also pray for the young people that read and study "From BRAT to BOSS".


Blessings on you,
Mama D

Luke 18:1 (NIrV)
Jesus told his disciples a story. He wanted to show them that they should always pray and not give up.

Would you like to purchase "From Brat to Boss"? If so, I would appreciate it if you would purchase it on June 4, 2018 from amazon.com. If my family and friends will purchase it on the same day, I may be able to sell enough to get Amazon's Best Seller for the day. I've been told this could get me a sticker on my book showing it as an Amazon Best Seller and that could possibly help people that don't know me find my book.

https://www.amazon.com/Brat-Boss-Life-Lessons-Joseph/dp/1973621584

With great LOVE comes great SORROW

I'm from a large family. On my daddy's side of the family was Grandma (maw maw) and Grandpa (papa), my daddy and his sister. On my mother's
side of the family was Grandma and Grandpa, my mom, 3 sisters and a brother.

As my parents and their siblings got married the numbers doubled and then they started having us (the grandkids). After we grew up and got married and started having kids the numbers continued to grow.

As I got older and moved away from home I would talk about my family. People always said you are so lucky to be a part of a big family. And I always agreed.
The first Christmas after we had foster girls we went to my family's Christmas. (which is our tradition because Christmas Day is the day as many family members that can gathers together) One of the girls asked Kevin, " What are they laughing about." Kev said he told her, "I don't know they laugh the whole time we are here. And Danette always cries when we leave."

As a pastor's wife, after seeing and being apart of many families losing loved ones, when I was told you are so lucky to be a part of a big family. I would agree and I started to add, "but with great love comes great sorrow."

This week is one of the times my family and I are experiencing "the great sorrow." My daddy's only sister, Aunt Jeanette, passed away after a long hard battle with Alzheimers. Her four children, grandchildren, family and friends are mourning her greatly.

Matthew 5:4 NIV
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

I know from the passing of grandparents, aunts, uncles, Kevin's parents and others that  this sorrow never really leaves. It gets easier to deal with in time but great love (family love) never leaves us. We have memories that God allows us in His great mercy. Small things will remind us of our loved one. I remember after my papa died. Grandma said, "She was opening the back window and the way the sun was coming up was so beautiful she thought how much my papa would have loved it."

I was raised to believe in the Lord, Jesus Christ and I know that many of my family members also have accepted Jesus as their Savior. Knowing my aunt was a Christian gives me the comfort knowing I  will one day see her again.

In my mind and heart, I see family members and friends that have gone on before us in Heaven, greeting and hugging (we are a hugging family) her.  I see them standing around my Aunt Jeanette everyone trying to get a hug and squeezing through the crowd to be next. Everyone is so happy to see her and she is no longer in pain. Just like I cried when leaving my family to go home, we will cry for now but one day we will see each other again.

I pray God will give my cousins and their children the strength and comfort they need in this time of great sorrow.

Blessings on you,
Danette (Mama D)

John 5:24 NIV "Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life."

TRADITIONS 1: Ideas to help you get started!

Most people have traditions even if they've never really thought about it. Traditions are things you do every year. Like I said in my post, Our New Christmas Traditions,  traditions change in time. Think about some of the things your family does together during the year, New Years party, Super Bowl party, Valentine's, beach trips, cruises, family reunions, dressing up as a family on Halloween, family get togethers at birthdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas.

If you are working on starting some new traditions, let me tell you traditions don't have to cost a fortune. They are memory makers. Don't start a new tradition that is going to be so stressful it won't be fun and one that you will possible dread starting the next year. It's easy to get excited and go all out then the next year you are busy, have a kid or two, etc. Remember make memories. People remember moments in time, so make your traditions moments that will be happy memories.

 New Year's Day: Have ginger ale with maraschino cherries or even ice water in fancy glasses to toast in the New Year. I never understood why people that order alcoholic beverages get fancy glasses and water, soda and tea drinkers get plain glasses. I had a few stem glasses that I liked drinking my tea but they were a little small for dinner glasses. My husband and daughter gave me stem glasses large enough for tea and some of those little stem charms for Christmas. I still use them. People that come over like to pick out their charm. (The charms usually go on sale after the holidays, remember the holiday will come around again next year)

Valentine's Day: Let the kids help you make cupcakes. I didn't follow the instructions for filling the cupcake pan when my daughter was growing up. I put half as much batter in the paper cups. It not only made twice as many cupcakes, the cupcakes were smaller and flat. Less icing and let's face it many kids lick the icing off and leave the cupcake. Less waste. When I was growing up my mama would let us help with the icing. We would make cupcakes for church cover dish meals. We each got a little white icing and our choice of color. She put a few drops of coloring in the icing and then we mixed it up and put the icing on the cupcakes. I'm sure it was a lot  messier to get us to help but "I have a Memory that puts a smile on my face even today."

Easter: Easter eggs are always fun. Now there's stickers and crayons and all kinds of kits to make the process a memory.
One of my sisters had a client that handmade baskets. She bought Arielle one of the baskets for Easter. Arielle used that basket most every year. One year when she was in Little League Cheerleading we decide to give her a lunch box we found on sale. It had a thermos and several small pieces. We made a scavenger hunt out of it. She got one of the small pieces in her basket. That piece had a clue as to where to find another piece and so on. We had a great time. She got to use her favorite basket but she also got something she could use and not a lot of candy.

Vacation: When Arielle was growing up I would take craft items on vacation. I was so busy working, going to her and her dad's sports and church activities that I decided to take advantage of vacation to slow down and make a memory. We LOVE the beach. We try to go to the beach at least once a year. Picking up shells and sharks teeth (North and South Caroline beaches) doesn't cost anything and it most definitely makes fun memories. One year I took plastic visors and a glue gun. It sometimes rains at least one day during vacation. Sure enough the rain came and the visors came out. We sat on the floor and took out our shells. We made some pretty visors that we wore when the sun came back out. Visors I bought on sale at a craft store and I had a glue gun. You can find small glue guns at a craft store for not too much money. Small children will need help with the glue.

Have a Blessed Day,

Mama D

Joel 1:3 (NLT)

Tell your children about it in the years to come, and let your children tell their children. Pass the story down from generation to generation.