Our New CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS

(If you've not read both of my previous blogs Mama D's Childhood CHRISTMAS and Rev Kev's Childhood CHRISTMAS, I think it will help you understand where I am coming from in the blog if you were to take the time to read them.)

Kev and I were married in May of 1979. We soon moved to Golden Gate Seminary in Marin County, California. I got a job in San Francisco and Kev started classes. Each month had new "first". I was from a very close family and I hadn't realized how close we were until moving so very far away.

I missed family birthdays, weddings, funerals, my parent's 25th anniversary and my grandparents 50th anniversary. Then came CHRISTMAS.

That first Christmas we couldn't afford to fly home. We got our first fresh tree together. We got one way to big for our little apartment. We had to learn to measure ceiling heights and tree height. haha!!! Kev cut some of the bottom off and the top off. Our neighbors got the top and made it a table top tree. Others came and got some of the greens for their apartments. I made some ornaments and we bought a box from a swap shop paper in the area but the tree still looked sparse.

Kev bringing in the tree

Christmas 1979 

Friends came over for dinner and the conversation went to the tree. They were going to fly home for Christmas so they decided not to get a tree. We suggested they put their ornaments on our tree. So that's what we did. One side was ours and the other was theirs. We had them over for dinner several times to see their tree.

Kev was a big guy back then. We had to buy his clothes from a Big and Tall store. In December of 1979 one sweater was $70.00. This about floored me. $70.00 was pretty much the amount I had planned on spending for all our Christmas. Needless to say there were not a lot of gifts under the tree for Kev. On the other hand, there were more presents for me.

Christmas Eve came, we were so excited we both loved Christmas and we had so much fun all season watching people and walking around shopping areas looking at all decorations. We just soaked up the season. After dinner we talked about opening one present. We had both talked about our families opening one present on Christmas Eve so we decide it was that time.

Then it happened. He told me to pick any gift under the tree. I was like, NO that's not the way you do this. I became very tense and upset. Christmas Eve at the Humphrey family consisted of opening one gift that was just for you. This gift was usually a gag gift or something that was made just for you. Kev and I loved playing games with our new friends. So I gave Kev a "Mork and Mindy game." It was supposed to be funny. Christmas Eve at the Moen family consisted of opening one gift also, but it was any gift under the tree. So I open a beautiful piece of stoneware that I absolutely loved. Kev opened his game. But Kev wasn't laughing and I was horrified. We both cried.

The next day, Christmas Day,  Kev opened his few presents then watched me open mine. He didn't seem to mind watching me. But we still cried some more mostly missing parents and the familiar. It's interesting that growing up I don't think we focus so much on what our traditions are, they just are. Most of the thinking of traditions are in the planning and looking forward to them. It's not until you are on your own and realize not everyone does things the way you did, that you start to realize what your traditions were.

Kev's dad and Ann lived about 45 minutes away. We went to their home for Christmas dinner. If you read my post on Mama D's childhood Christmas you will remember. We served ourselves from the kitchen and then sat wherever there was a seat. We walked into their  home to the most beautiful table I had ever seen. The table was set with matching place settings and crystal glasses. WOW!!!! I loved it! I helped put the food on the table. I put my soda can at my place and the others drank wine in the beautiful crystal stemware. Let me say both ways are special and neither is wrong.

Somewhere there is a picture of the table with my soda can. I couldn't find that picture but I did find one from a dinner at their home. We laughed about my lone soda can and we loved on one another. Christmas (in my mind) was saved! Christmas should be more about focusing on Jesus' birth. As humans we sometimes get our focus off the main thing and get caught up in trying to make it perfect, that's when we can get upset.

Not the Christmas table but you can imagine this kicked up  

New year's again was a new "first". And Kev said, This is a new year and we need to make traditions for us. Our new family traditions included some of the old but we started some of our own also.

When we moved back to the east coast near the east coast family we incorporated those family gatherings into our lives. Just like we had with his dad and Ann. My family still got together for Christmas just like when I was growing up. (They didn't stop just because I moved away for several years.) So we decided we would spend Christmas Day with my family and Thanksgiving Day with his family. His mom said,"As long as we came to see her she didn't care what day." We lived closer to her so we saw her more during the year than we saw my family, so seeing her near Christmas wasn't a problem. And so a new tradition for us as a family began.

After we had Arielle and his sister and brother in law had their first daughter it was decided to have a Moen Christmas on Thanksgiving Day. We did that for several years then we added another day for Moen Christmas. This way we celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas separately. One year we would have Christmas at our home and Thanksgiving at theirs and the next year it was switched.

As Arielle came along we made her a part of the traditions. She helped decorate the house and the tree. When we put up the family tree, we have several trees, we told her where the ornaments came from and who gave them to us. I have a small black book that I list the ornaments, the year and who gave them to us in case we forget one or two, three, etc. Kev likes themed trees, as you will remember from Rev Kev's Childhood CHRISTMAS blog. I like them also but my favorite is the family tree, because that's what I grew up with.

Arielle also helped with the food for open house each year. She started out by putting the crackers on the platters, getting the napkins and plastic wear set up and anything her dad and I needed her to do. (age appropriate tasks) This was not always what she wanted to do but in the end she was proud of herself when people thanked her for the lovely table, etc.

One Christmas many years ago, we talked about staying home on the Christmas that fell on Sunday. Kev wanted Arielle to have Christmas the way he remembered. Staying home and playing with all the new toys and having special meals together at the table. Having friends come over to visit.  In my head I saw, cooking breakfast and washing dishes, fixing lunch and washing dishes, and fixing dinner and washing dishes. Kev said, "That's what you will be doing if we go to North Carolina." I said, "Yes, but there I will be talking and laughing with family and we will all be doing it together." Again, it's the way we grew up. I grew up traveling to family. He grew up family traveling to him. As hard as it was for me, I told him I was willing to give up going to see my family at Christmas every seventh year or so.

Kev told Arielle about the idea. He thought she was going to love not having to leave home on Christmas Eve after the Christmas Eve Service at church. Packing up the car and riding for three and half hours to maw maw and papa's and then pack up again on Christmas to travel another two hours to great grandma and grandpa's house. We would be gone for a several days. Instead, she cried and said, "We can't have Christmas without going to maw maw and papa's." And so that idea died in it's tracks.

Okay, I hope you see the point of my Christmas posts. I'm writing these after Christmas to give you a head start on planning this new year.  Things change and we need to change with them, (compromise). Love and treasure your past traditions. You don't have to give them up just learn to incorporate both your lives in the traditions. And when children come along share the traditions with them.

My Christmas Day with family is still one of my favorite days.  The family gathering is smaller because once my grandparents went to be with the Lord we started going to my parents. And my cousins and their families started going to their parents.

It is the only day of the year as many of my family (mama, daddy, three sisters, brother and their families) as possible merge on my sister and her husband. (We out grew mama and daddy's.) We come from Virginia, NC, SC, Georgia and now Florida. And yes, we still have to travel. But when I get my hugs from mama and daddy and the rest of my family it's all worth it!

BUT let's remember; the true meaning of Christmas is still and will always be CHRIST! He is the TRUE reason for the season! Not Santa, trees, toys, gifts large or small, driving or not driving,  Traditions change Christ does not.

Have a Blessed Day,
Mama D

Luke 2:13 NIRV
Suddenly a large group of angels from heaven also appeared. They were praising God. They said, "May glory be given to God in the highest heaven! And may peace be given to those he is pleased with on earth."

Rev Kev's Childhood CHRISTMAS

I would like to start this blog out with a little comparison of Rev Kev's childhood and my (Mama D) childhood. I'm going to use a couple of TV shows that if you've seen them will give an idea in your mind of our childhoods. Are you ready for it? Picture The Walton's and Leave it to Beaver. These shows are probably before your time but I think they still come on as reruns.

Kev was adopted. He was born in October but he was brought home on December 13, 1957. His mom told me they wrapped him in a blanket and laid him under the tree. She said he was the only thing under the tree because they didn't have anything left after getting him.

Kev grew up in California, in an area called Moraga. He grew up in a family with his mom, dad and a sister. His grandparents would come to his home for  Christmas. His mom would cook a great meal. They had a white tree with blue garland and blue Christmas balls. I think this is why he likes themed trees. All the gifts were wrapped even the ones from Santa. They were also allowed to open one gift on Christmas Eve.

One of the stories Kev has told me is about a Christmas Eve. The gifts were wrapped but there was one that was obviously larger than the others. Of course, that was the gift they chose to open. He excitedly opened the present only to find other presents, WRAPPED. ugh

Have a Blessed Day,
Mama D

Luke 2:10 NIRV
"But the angel said to them, Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy. It is for all the people."

Mama D's Childhood CHRISTMAS

I Love Christmas! Christmas is an amazing time of year. First and foremost it's the day we celebrate Christ's birthday.

I grew up in a Christian home. Christ was an ever present person in our family. Maybe not in a human form but in our hearts and heads. My parents talked and lived Christ every day not just at Christmas and Easter.

Christmas was always about Christ, family, love and getting together. Christmas Eve we would go to church for the Christmas Eve service, usually a Children / Youth play. This is when I was young (1960s and early 70s). Every Sunday before Sunday School, we gathered for opening exercises where we sang Happy Birthday to those that had birthdays during the week. We put money in a jar totaling our age. (It always confused me when adults would put in a dollar.) That money was used to purchase Christmas gifts for the kids on Christmas Eve. We also got a small brown paper bag with an apple, orange, tangerine, box of raisins, peppermint stick and some chocolate and nuts. I was reminded that daddy would help us crack the nuts and sneak a little for himself every once in a while.

Christmas morning started with one of us (5 kids) going into mama and daddy's room and telling them, "It's Christmas". According to what time it was, if it was 4:00 AM we were told to go back to bed for a little while. But if it was 6:00ish we would get up and get cleaned up and dressed for the day. (The excitement built until we could all get dressed.) Then we would stand along the wall at the top of the stars. At mama and daddy's call we would be allowed to go downstairs to the tree and the gifts.

The gifts Santa brought were never wrapped. They were in piles for each child.  We would eat something, but I can't really remember breakfast! I remember reading the story of Christmas from the bible. We would play with our toys until it was time to go to Grandma and Grandpa Humphrey's for dinner (lunch). This is one of the reasons for having us get dressed first. Another reason was so daddy could get a little more sleep. After all the presents were opened (gifts we made or bought for each other) we would pick up all the trash. We would pick out one present to take with us. For us girls that was usually a doll, (until we got older.)

Grandma Humphrey always had a spread, mama and our aunt helped. I remember grandma made two platers of chicken salad, one with celery and one without. We always had homemade pickles. (Mama and grandma canned the pickles during the summer.) And her homemade biscuits were awesome. Of course she always said they were burned or under cooked but I never remember one being left at the end of the day. Papa made the tea. We drank a lot of tea (sodas didn't enter the picture until we were nearly grown) and he had making it down pat. We knew the tea was getting low when the tea pot was in the bathroom sink sitting in cold water. There were several pies and cakes but the creme da la creme for me was grandma's Pineapple cake covered with 7 minute frosting.


We played with our cousins until time to eat. As we got older we helped set the table, counter, etc. We sat anywhere there was a space. I remember not being allowed to eat in the living room until we got to big for the rest of the house. The food was on the stove and kitchen counter, top of the washer to the back had pies and cakes. Someone stood at the front of the washer to eat. (I think that's when grandma gave in to letting us sit in the living room. The men went to the den. After we ate we would help clean up. Then we would play for a little while longer and have desert. After the eating was done we opened presents. And played with our cousins again until time to go to Grandma and Grandpa Richardson's for supper (dinner).

Grandpa Richardson

Grandma Richardson

At Grandma Richardson's we all (mamas mostly, until we were older) brought food and put it out on the counters and tables. Again because of the number of us we ate wherever there was a space. We never thought anything about it. Some of us may have sat on the floor or chairs grandpa borrowed from the church and sat around. We were just excited to have everyone at grandma's at one time. My mama was one of five kids and you add aunts, uncles and cousins you have one BIG HAPPY family!!! We drew names for Christmas presents. Passing out the presents was almost as much fun to do and watch as getting the presents. People went from room to room looking for the people on the presents. The men were usually in the den with the TV. The women would be in the kitchen putting the food away and taking turns holding the babies. But us kids would move around looking to see who may have our presents. We could hardly wait till we could be the ones to pass them out.

One of my favorite memories was the year I went to one of my aunts and thanked her for the gift. She said, "Danette can you remind me what we got you? I bought it after Christmas last year and went ahead and wrapped it."  That memory puts a smile on my face every time I think about it. Note to self, buy early, wrap later.

Have a Blessed Day,
Mama D

Luke 2:7 NIRV
"She gave birth to her first baby. It was a boy. She wrapped him in large strips of cloth. Then she placed him in a manger. There was no room for them in the inn."