Giving an Allowance

When I was growing up we were expected to help around the house AND at the family business. It was considered family responsibility. Once I remember someone in the family asking about an allowance because someone at school mentioned they got an allowance. Mom said, "Did you eat today? Did you have clean clothes to wear? There's your allowance." End of conversation! Wasn't said, or meant to be ugly. That was reality...

The first time I remember hearing someone talk about getting an allowance my younger sister and I were working at a summer camp. We roomed together. One night we heard a couple of girls in the next room complaining because they only got $50.00 a month (1970s) for allowance. My sister and I just looked at one another, and mouthed $50.00. WOW!

Later in the conversation the girls talked about how they had to buy all their clothes, shoes and things with the allowance.

My parents took care of those things. The three of us girls older girls and cousins were about the same age and size. We shared clothes. And the clothes mom made for us she made sure to make them in different styles because there was a good chance my younger sister would be wearing all three. (My younger sister worried if the clothes she really liked would make it past me. I was a tom boy.)

Some families can't... or decide not to give an allowance... and that's okay. Parents need to discuss their thoughts on giving an allowance without the children around. Whatever the parents agree on goes. There should be no "Well, dad (or mom) doesn't think you should get an allowance."

I think an allowance is a privilege not a requirement. If you are not teaching the child how to handle that money like tithe and savings along with the spending, then why are you giving an allowance in the first place?

My opinion, if you are just giving money without any planned training, you are setting your child up for a harder time when they are older. No one will just hand them money when they are on their own. They are going to have to work for it.


Have a Blessed Day,
Mama D

Hebrews 12:7 (NIRV)
Put up with hard times. God uses them to train you. He is treating you as children. What children are not trained by their parents?

Using a chart for chores

My last Blog was on using index cards for chores. As our family grew we needed a way to keep up with the chores. For a little over a year we had foster daughters. I designed the chart to make sure everyone was treated the same.


 On the chart it had the girls' names along the top of the columns and the chores along the left side. I put the days they were responsible for the job under each child's name. I think it was covered with clear contact paper so I could use a dry erase marker.

Sample Job/ Chore List

I couldn't find the original. After all it's been 20 years. This is a recreation as best I can remember of how the chart looked.

 On Saturday we would give the girls their allowance in one dollar bills. Then we went to the chart. For every unaccomplished chore they had to give us  .50 back (or a portion of their allowance back.)

It wasn't long before they realized they had family responsibilities and we expected them to be done. When everyone did their part there was less to do on Saturday.

Have a Blessed Day,
Mama D

Colossians 3:23-24 (NIV)
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Using Index Cards for chores

When I was a stay at home mom, I handled the house and Kev handled the yard and cars. Even tho I was at home, I remembered having to help around the house when I was growing up. I wanted Arielle to be able to take care of herself if she needed to. I decided to give her some chores. I didn't think it was fair to just have index cards for her so I made them for all of us.



I started using index cards when Arielle was in kindergarten or First Grade.  They sat on the table next to our plates.

One of Kev's cards

I think it's funny that the only cards I could find were Kev's. This card was dirty so I erased the stains. The card read: *Everyone will help cook. *Everyone will help clean after meals until finished. *If you dirty a dish during the day it is your responsibly to see to it, it gets in the dishwasher. *Sweep *Mop

This card was from when Arielle was in the First through Third Grades. I can tell because it has a dishwasher. You may be thinking, that will take too long because they are too little to do that. And they want do it like I want it done.You are right. It does take longer. And do not resweep, remake the bed, etc.  (Talk about hard.) We had one of those little kid brooms for Arielle, and her bed had the covers crooked for awhile but she kept trying to get better without me redoing everything she did.

If you start a routine when they are young, then when they are older it is already part of the routine. Try to tell a teenager you have to help clean the table, make your bed, help with the laundry, you get the idea, if you have always done it for them.

As Arielle got older and our lives got busier we went in and out of being organized. Sometimes the house took a back seat to school, work, church and sports. Then I'd have a meltdown (yes she DID- Kev!!!) and we start again. Don't give up - PRAY, Pray some more, and then get up and try again.

We are not perfect. My daughter wanted me to start blogging because she thought that something I write may help people her age. I do hope this blog helps young families. Don't give up. Today your house may be a mess or you may be overwhelmed with everything. Try making index cards or your version of index cards. When we had foster girls I had a chart on the kitchen door. I will have to tell you about the chart another time.

Don't give up -  Get up and try again. Remember if you do everything when they are growing up you will be exhausted and they will not know how to boil water when they are on their own. (Better to be upset with you now, than when they are on their own.)

Have a Blessed Day,
Mama D

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Moments not days, weeks or years

After the Visitor card night, Kev took it one step farther for his family. Kev started Father Daughter Day. Every Saturday they let me sleep in and off they went. They would sometimes invite me but it was for them. It was also for me. It gave me some time to rest, sew, crochet, etc by myself.

After I started working full time again we went to having Family Night. By now Kev was a Senior Pastor in King William, VA. Nothing could trump Family night except Weddings, funerals and church wide functions. (Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, etc when I owned the florist)

We now have Date Night. Arielle is married and lives a couple of hours or so away. Date nights had been eating out and going to get groceries before Arielle and Jaron moved to Virginia. And it still is sometimes. You don't have to spend alot of money just plan to do something together.

 It is Kev and I again and the rules are a little different. We will spend Date Night going to see Arielle and Jaron, going out with friends, etc. But now it isn't even written on a calendar. It is what we do and everyone knows it.

I think when something is important to you, you can find a way to fit it in your calendar. Children and family should be one of those things that is important. Years ago I heard or read that we do not remember days, weeks or years, we remember moments. So make the moments special.

My mom and dad would take us on a picnic after church sometimes if dad had been working alot  the previous weeks. There would be times when he was gone when we got up or he wasn't home when we went to bed. It wasn't easy for mom to pack up Sunday Dinner in the trunk of the car and take five kids to a park for a picnic. She would pack the pots from the stove into paper bags (to help keep them warm) and boxes. But those are memories I will have my whole life. And memories that made me want Arielle to have good memories too.

The last few weeks we've had some snow. Arielle has been wanting enough to sled in. Last night it started to snow where she lives. She called us about MIDNIGHT, yes MIDNIGHT. (I had responded  to a text from one of my sisters so she THOUGHT we were awake.)

When we hung up Kev said he doesn't know of anyone that loves snow as much as Arielle. I told him, "Well think about it. When she was growing up we always played in the snow as a family. If we didn't have a hill in our yard, you found one and got us to it. We would have hot chocolate, and go back out."

Arielle and Kev at the Cabin

Make happy memories for your kids! Don't always complain about the snow, the shoveling, the cold, etc. Arielle and I were laughing about a time when we were snowed in for a week. We lived in an old log cabin about a 1/4 mile from the road. After a week of being in the house with her dad who had pneumonia. He couldn't do much playing in the snow. We decided we had to help him get out. We thought we would surprise him. She and I went outside and stood in front of the car. She stood in front of one tire and I stood in front of the other. We started walking and packing down the snow as best we could toward the road. About 1/3 of the way down, God sent us an angel in the form of a friend with a 4 wheel drive. He saw us and came down the drive. Kev heard his vehicle and came out. He asked us if he could help. Kev told him he already had just by coming down our driveway. So he went up and down our drive a few more times and we were out.

We learned a valuable lesson that day. Park at the street and walk to the car. Then all we have to shovel is the space in from to the car.

A convoy in the driveway

Like father like daughter

Have a Blessed Day,

Mama D

Philippians 4:13

I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.